At the End of the Day, Yourself Matter Than Anything

When I was a kid, I always imagined what is it like to be an adult. Is working can be considered an adult thing? Or, is the ability to do everything on our own can be considered an adult? I didn't know much back then. But I always know that I don't want to grow up as an adult that fast. Well, before I even realize it, here I am, waking up as an adult at 23 years old.

If I was questioned again about what is it like to be an adult now, for sure, I would answer, "everything is a lot different than what I was thinking a long time ago as a kid."

Haha. 23. Still too young to talk about life, but at the same time, already an adult to get to know about life better. It is a lot different, but I don't consider myself already know everything, instead, there are a lot of things that I don't know yet. There are a lot of things that I can't understand and define.

I often hear a saying, "your 20s must be as fun as it could get because it will also be as hard as it could get."

Well, young people, let's admit it together. Sometimes life is too hard for us. It is an age where you are worried about your future the most. You have big dreams, but not enough money to get there, or not even enough experience to get there. You have a hard time defining what success really is about. And when you work so hard to chase your dreams, you realize that there are people who are the same age as you, who gets success first. And then, you feel intimidated.

You feel sensitive and intimidated if there are some people come up to you and ask, "hey, long time no see, so where do you work now?", "Have you finished your bachelor's degree yet?", "what do you want to do after graduation?", and you don't even know what to answer because you can't give them the answer they want.

You are sad, you are mad, and you feel like life is not fair to you. You feel like you have already done your best, you already tried everything but nothing is working out for you. And you feel it's weird because it works just fine with other people, but not you.

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Suddenly, it's not about your life anymore, not about the future anymore, not even about yourself anymore. It's just because you feel intimidated so much that you want to succeed as well. You want to succeed to impress people, you want to succeed to get people's acknowledgment, and you want to succeed to show people that you can do it too. And slowly, you forget about your dreams. You forget about your passion, your love for life, and even yourself.

It's because you live to exceed people's expectations about you for so long, that you can't even remember when was the last time you do something for yourself. You do something because you really want it. You do something not for your boss, not for your company's profit, but for you. Just for you.

Of course, those are also the process of growing up and becoming an adult. You have to deal with people. Many kinds of people. But the hardest one? Perhaps, dealing with yourself.

Because sometimes we live by people's expectations of us, we tend to forget about ourselves. Because sometimes we care so much about people's opinions, we tend to forget that our opinion matters too. We matter. You, matter.

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I'm still trying so hard not to live by people's expectations, and it has been years. I have to take more risks to let go of that bad habit. But, what's life without risks? :)

Seriously, I don't want to get used to people coming up to me and saying A-Z about my life or telling me to do things they think will suit me better. In the end, my voice matters more than anything.

Never forget who you are. Why you are here in the first place. Your dreams. Your passion. Your love for life, for people around you. If you can listen well to people's voices, why can't you listen to your own voice? Baby, at the end of the day, there is nothing more important than listening to your own voice and desire. Try to give yourself more room and space and respect your voice.

You matter.