Things I Wanted to Tell My Younger Self

It is probably pretty funny to write such a letter dedicated to myself - my younger self - years ago. I feel like I'm old enough at this 24 years of age (which will be 25 soon in a few months hehe). But at the same time, still not experienced enough to give advice, even to myself.

When it comes to making decisions, I always think about them very carefully. And when I finally choose it, no matter what the result would be, I learn to accept it wholeheartedly. I think that's when you see you are finally growing up.

There are no regrets, but if I could meet myself ten years ago, I'd like to say these things just so I can comfort her. She was very clever and pretty but barely had no confidence at all. She didn't know the power inside her yet. She was struggling, to fit in, to be recognized. Well, my 14-year-old self would cringe seeing this but, maybe she would be happy too.

• You are loved, so loved
• What happens to your family is not your fault - at all
• It's okay to be not that good in math - don't stress over it too much
• Try new things, don't think about it too much - just try
• Please keep writing, keep writing...
• It's okay to be different
• Be real, you are authentic
• Your friends now may not be your friends forever but cherish them, love them more
• It's okay to cry over a boy who doesn't like you back - but just a little
• Everyone goes through heartbreak - cry and make a poem from it
• Keep dreaming, be ambitious - you'll get there someday
• You are always one step closer to your dreams, don't stop
• Well, pause for a little while if you get tired - you still got this
• You are pretty and creative - be more confident
• Respect is earned, not given
• Sometimes things didn't work out the way they should be, but it's okay - it's called process
• Take a deep breath, always...
• Work out more often
• Don't start drinking coffee - that will turn you into a boring adult
• Love that boy deeply, be a hopeless romantic - it's not a mistake
• Don't think too much about the future, live in the now
• Pray more often...
• Cherish every moment with your whole family - cherish it deeply
• Failed once doesn't make you a failure - get back up again
• You are never a mistake
• You will grow up well, really well - trust me
• Don't stop dreaming...don't stop dreaming...
• Be honest, be true to yourself
• Don't beat yourself up too much over a little mistake
• Keep going for what you love
• Thank you for making me the lady I have become now
• You are a strong, independent girl, and will always be

-----

I tried so hard to cope with these weird mixed feelings over the last few days

and I still have no idea what it was

maybe that's why I write these things so hopelessly

I mean, I think I just try to make myself better with a cup of warm coffee

and a chat over paper and pen

but my heart still bleeding over so many things unexplained